You’ve probably heard the term “twin flame” floating around social media but aren’t sure what to make of it. Understandable. In essence, twin flames are an astrology-adjacent concept (like energy work) that two people share the same soul, or what is sometimes called a “mirror soul.” Twin flames are intense, spiritual, and often toxic in relationships. How they evolve is up to the people involved. While there’s been a ton of recent talk about the anatomy of a twin flame, there are a few factors that make these entanglements life-altering — and exhausting. Sappy Instagram hashtags aside, a lot of people wonder if their extreme attraction to someone means they’re twin flames.
Interestingly, these types of relationships are very rare, so what might seem like a twin flame is most likely lust, intimacy, or any number of other intense forms of connection. In those cases, a big glass of water followed by a nap is always a good idea. But for some, a twin flame is a very real thing. Many describe meeting their twin flame feeling like “coming home” and said there was an instant familiarity and attraction.
That tracks if you consider the lore behind this astrological concept. Twin flames are believed to share a soul which split into two halves before they were born and landed in the bodies of two different people. These souls are drawn together like magnets and will find a way to one another. Healer Tasha Nassar told Allure twin flame relationships help us merge both the masculine and feminine energy within us, adding people in these relationships experience a more evolved, heightened kind of love.
However, their relationship can exhibit hallmarks of toxicity. Why? It’s complex, and we’ll cover it more below. But suffice it to say, twin flames are intended to heal both people and help them grow spiritually — and, often, those things involve a great deal of pain and discomfort.
Big Twin Flame Energy
Twin flames aren’t always about romantic love, but when they are, it’s explosive. Actress Megan Fox recently gave an interview in Cosmo with her current rock star partner Machine Gun Kelly where she said their intense connection is the result of a shared soul. “I knew right away that he was what I call a twin flame,” she said. “Instead of a soul mate, a twin flame is actually where a soul has ascended into a high-enough level that it can be split into two different bodies at the same time.” (What Fox said is a slight variation of the common twin flame understanding, but whatever.)
She continued, “So we’re actually two halves of the same soul, I think. And I said that to him almost immediately because I felt it right away… I think it was the second day [of filming]. I asked him to come into my trailer for lunch, and I put him through all of this astrology stuff. I went deep right away. I knew before I even did his chart; I said to him, he has a Pisces moon. I could tell by his energy.”
Twin Flame vs. Soul Mate
To be clear, in the astrology world, twin flames and soul mates are different things. Soul mates don’t share a soul; they have complimentary souls meant to be together. So, think of a twin flame as a soul mate, but a million times more intense and ultimately about working on your relationship with yourself — only, in this instance, there’s another person involved. It’s almost like the concept of shadow work with another human.
Before you look over at your partner and wonder why you don’t have twin flame feels, it’s probably worth mentioning these relationships can be draining. Can you imagine being with someone with all of the same annoying traits? Although it’s tempting to get swept up in the idea that twin flame equals the ultimate passion, the reality is that twin flames are meant to challenge you to be more whole as an individual. So, there’s also all of the messy emotional work inherent in the relationship that ratchets up the tension even higher, causing many twin flames to burn out fast.
Twin Flame Test
So if you’re wondering whether someone is your mirror soul, ask yourself how many of these twin flame traits your relationship has taken on:
- Did you fall hard immediately?
- Is your relationship very intense?
- Is there a constant push-and-pull, breaking up and making up?
- Are you very similar?
- Are your insecurities and doubts amplified in the relationship?
- Does your connection feel somehow divine?
- Do you always know what the other is thinking?
- Do you feel pushed to be better?
If these sound familiar, perhaps there is a twin flame situation going on. Proceed accordingly and get ready for everything to change. The rest of us will just have to settle for the partner who doesn’t like the same kind of chips, so no one has to share. Now that’s compatibility, baby!